Meddlesome Neighbors

Count me in as one of those who detest so-called 'Covenants and Restrictions' that come as a precondition to the purchase of a home within a 'planned community.' As a purchaser who owns not only the home but the land that it's built on, I should have the sole authority to make rules concerning my property.

And yes, you would be quite right if you think I am living in la-la land.

That kind of freedom went out the window years ago as the real estate industry began colluding with developers and builders to jack up the prices on homes and property.

Let me quickly state that I have nothing against real estate agents, builders, and developers. Most of these persons work hard, and the income they earn is never guaranteed but totally dependent on the market.

However, I do have a problem with the modern adage of real estate that maintains that 'approximate uniformity' within a community helps keep property values high and greatly enhances the return on one's investment.

The underlying idea behind the concept of 'uniformity' is that the more my property is maintained similarly to all of my neighbors' the more I can expect my property to increase in value.

The concept worked as long as everyone bought into the notion, and as long as the market was good. But it always seemed that such a concept was arbitrarily set and subject to manipulation.

Taken solely on its face value, WHY, exactly, should my property maintain and increase its value simply because it is almost like everyone else's?

One problem has been the buyers themselves. People these days have come to expect that when they invest in property within a planned community they get to dictate what their neighbors do so as to minimize the possibility that someone may do something that could de-value their property. These meddlesome neighbors are just as guilty as the rest of the bunch for the present state of affairs.

The problem is that this mindset has been taken to the extreme. The last set of 'Covenants and Restrictions' I read was about an inch thick and contained nearly 100 pages.

One of the things my neighbors decided I could not do was to put up a satellite dish.

I figured that perhaps the homeowners' association was run by the cable company.

Another was that I could not keep my garage door open.

After all, we wouldn't want anyone looking up in there to see that I was using a 15-year old mower. My neighbors would have a hissy over that one. If you are not using a new Toro or John Deer, somebody might get the wrong idea about the neighborhood.

It was also forbidden that a homeowner have any more than three trees in the front yard.

I kid you not.

But after all, who said that planned communities were green-friendly to begin with?

The most disgusting thing of all, however, was when neighbors would call the homeowners' association to squeal on you. At that point you would get one of those nasty letters from the association informing you that you were in violation of Code 234560-B on page 3659 of the Covenants and Restrictions.

You then had thirty days to correct the 'problem.'

It was then that strategically-placed anonymous phone calls to the homeowners' association came in handy. Such as, 'Did you know that so-and-so, who lives at such-and-such, is using the wrong kind of shearers to cut his shrubbery? And that this type of shearer would create the wrong angle and look?'

'Sir, you mean your neighbor is in violation of Code 67098634-R on page 9783 of the Covenants and Restrictions?'

'Yes, ma'am, I'm afraid so.'

Boy, that was enough to get the dirty little rat thrown out of the neighborhood.

Seriously, the restrictions that are inherent in a planned community are bordering on the ridiculous, even depriving some persons of their Constitutional rights, such as when the community insists that all residents not have firearms.

Of course, the unimportant matter of a Constitutional right pales in comparison to the need to keep up property values--at all costs.

Funny, though, that all the Covenants and Restrictions in the world cannot succeed in preventing a depreciation of property values in the present housing market. All across the country homeowners are having to drop the sales price of their homes below that of so-called 'comparative market value' just to get their homes sold.

Perhaps this correction in the overly-inflated housing market will lead to some serious thought about where we have been headed in this country. If I invest in property, I should not have to appease my neighbors about what I do with that property as long as I am not breaking any laws.

But then again, maybe I am not cut out for planned community living. I am too accustomed to smoking my pipe without some half-crazed meddlesome neighbor going on a tirade about the evils of tobacco and threatening to have me arrested.