Palfrey's List Under Tight Wraps at ABC News

Washington, DC (TLS). Never in the history of tabloid news has a news organization paid so much for exclusive rights to a story for so little in return. ABC News somehow mysteriously became the only recipient of the now-infamous Palfrey's List--the 'DC Madam's' list of high-profile clients--only to report days later that it may not be 'appropriate' to disclose the names to the public.

Now wait just a minute here. There is nothing 'appropriate' about this story in the first place. ABC obviously planned on using the information, or else they would not have made such a public display of the fact that they were in possession of the dreaded 'list.'

This only leads to a few fairly obvious conclusions. ABC News saw that the names on that list are not exclusive to the ones it intended to put on display as examples of the 'culture of corruption' among Republicans. Obviously, there are probably Republicans on the list, but you can bet your sweet box of condoms that there are Democrats on the list as well...some who are very powerful.

Immediately after ABC hinted at who was on the list by claiming that there is another Bush Administration official and the head of a conservative think-tank, suddenly and inexplicably ABC went silent. This can only mean one thing. They found some names on that list that would be very embarrassing to Democrats and Liberals.

Why, GASP!, there may even be some ABC News execs on that list! And what if.....oh my....

What if there are some high profile REPORTERS on the list?

My friends, this is the ONLY plausible reason I can think of as to why ABC News would suddenly get an attack of conscience. Suddenly, out of the blue, they 'want to do the right thing.'

Methinks there's something rotten here, and it sure ain't in Denmark.

At this point, it would be highly problematic to place any credence on any disclosures ABC News made concerning the list, given that they have had plenty of time to cull through it and remove the names of those they wish to protect.

Sorry, guys, but you blew it.