The Dog Who Stole My Heart Away

Saluda, NC (TLS). As soon as I first saw him he was my dog. He was a bit shy at first, exhibiting the natural reluctance of a sensitive canine who had been given away three times. I vowed that very day that no one would ever give him away again, and frankly, I could never understand for what good reason 3 different persons would give away a dog with so much to offer. He was loving, playful, loyal, protective, and very smart.

I kept him with me throughout the night so as to engage in that often elusive but most definite phenomenon known as 'bonding.' He was small enough to sleep comfortably in my queen-sized bed. I wondered how he would respond to being with a complete stranger. But when he approached me wagging his tail, licking my hand, and exhibiting the body language of submission, I knew that the bonding had begun.

Beau was the most beautiful dog I had ever seen, a 5-year-old black Lhasa-Apso/Poodle mix. He had the personality of a Lhasa and the keen intelligence of a Poodle. I never ceased to be amazed at the many ways he read my moods, and responded accordingly.

He took care of me as no human being has known how to do, with the exception of my Mother. Fiercely protective and uniquely loyal, he could be ferocious in the face of those he thought meant me harm. He then would gaze at me with those piercing and longing eyes for the slightest hint of approval. He would watch me intently until I patted his head and told him what a good boy he was, and how he had done a good job.

Then, he would wag his tail and lick my hand as if to say, 'I'm glad you approve of me.'

There was never a day that went by in nearly eleven years that I did not approve of him. He was in my thoughts whenever I was away from him. I could not wait until I got home so that I could join him in a glad reunion. He always acted as if I had been gone for weeks and would whimper and whine for several minutes while I rubbed him and patted his little head.

Gradually Beau grew old, and with age came the normal aches and pains--and illnesses. His cataracts gradually took 80% of his sight. His hearing went bad. In his last months of life he had begun to have occasional seizures. And, I could tell he was having some difficulty with his joints.

I had considered euthanasia and had promised myself that I would do it if I perceived he was in constant severe pain. But I never had to make that decision.

One day I heard him wail--a chilling sound that made my heart sink. I had never heard him make that sound before, so I picked him up and cuddled him for a while. He gave me one or two slight licks. I could tell he was tired, so I laid him on his blanket beside me on the sofa.

He immediately went to sleep after giving me one small lick. He rested all night without pain.

I had determined that come morning I would check into arrangements for euthanasia.

Throughout the night Beau slept...snoring. This was nothing new, and I took comfort in the fact that as long as he was snoring he was sleeping comfortably. But with the breaking of the dawn I noticed that the snoring became labored and erratic.

And then there was complete silence.

I reached over and rubbed him, but Beau was gone.

I was struck by the peaceful look of satisfaction on his face. He was just as beautiful in death as he was in life.

It dawned on me that he had died in the manner he had chosen--to be with me at the final moment. That was why he gave me that loud moan I never heard before. He was telling me it was time and that he wanted to be with me.

Beau had been my constant companion, my friend, my baby, for eleven wonderful years. I will always miss him and love him. As the days go by I am only reminded even more of the hole he left in my heart with his passing.

He was simply the very best--the best that ever was. I will have other dogs, no doubt. But there will never be another dog like Beau, the one dog in my entire life who stole my heart away.